Rest
by Hella-venger
Summary: Days of thinking can never help as much as one conversation with someone dear to you. Marshfield.


Disclaimer: I do not own Life is Strange.

Notes: I am so invested in the Life is Strange fandom, and I just needed to contribute some MarshField to the world.

Also, for the sake of the story, Kate wasn't able to text Max in episode 3. This is their first time meeting each other after episode 2.

* * *

I still can't believe it.

Heh, I can reverse time however I feel like, and something as real as this is what gets me confused.

Not that those powers of mine did jack-shit for me when I needed them.

That sound. No matter how much I try, that fucking sound keeps repeating in my head.

That crunch. The sound that's gonna haunt my dreams probably for the rest of my life.

The sound of Kate's body hitting the ground.

I was too slow. If it wasn't for my power, I would have only managed to get there to see the most sickening thing in my life.

Even with my rewind, I still saw it.

Too slow. Kate was in trouble, and I was too fucking thick to see what needed to be done. Too stupid to see what was going to happen. Too selfish to notice how her life had so quickly gone to shit.

I knew she was in trouble. I saw all the crap she was getting for something that wasn't even her fault.

And here I thought rubbing out some dumbass drawings on her board would be enough.

I can bend time to my will, and what do I use it for? I shoot bottles in a scrapyard. I predict the future in a diner. I guess what's in Chloe's pockets.

Shit like that was why my brain nearly melted when I really needed it. Fucking, throwing my rewind around like it's a given.

If I had even used it once more that day, I might not have been able to get to Kate. If I hadn't been so careless with whatever it is I can do, I would've been able to rewind to before Kate was even on that roof. Could've stopped her from becoming the new topic in all the local papers.

More attention. That's the last thing Kate needs.

What Kate needed was friends. She needed support. Something to show her that there was a light in the darkness.

I thought what I did was enough. How arrogant was I.

But I'm damn sure not going to make the same mistake twice.

"Ms. Caufield? You can go in now."

I muttered a thank you to the nurse as I walked by her.

The hospital had only allowed visitors a few days after what happened. Apparently, I was the first one from Blackwell to take advantage of this.

Sure, they yammer on about how sorry they are, but when they actually have to confront the result of their shit, they all chicken out.

I know I'm not being completely fair. I know that some of Kate's friends are genuinely busy.

But the ones who actually are responsible for this. Victoria, Courtney, all those popular clique assholes who thought it was funny to torment Kate. If I even see a single one of them having the fucking nerve to come here and think that an apology will make everything better, I'm not sure what I'll do.

And if Nathan shows his face, I know exactly what I would do.

Even sitting in the same room with that sicko made me sick and furious at the same time. I got him suspended, sure, but that's not even close to what he deserves.

Ah, thinking about all of them is just getting me angry. I'm here to help Kate, not to vent on the school's bullshit.

I reach the room, scanning the door's number to make sure I got the right one.

I hesitate turning the knob.

What do I say?

I'd say she's got the 'Oh my God, how are you doing?' stuff from her Dad and Sisters already. She probably doesn't want to hear much more of it.

What's she going to say?

I mean, she seemed better when she was in the ambulance, but things aren't as simple as that. I doubt my little speech cured everything. Despite what everyone at Blackwell thought.

Everyone treats me like I'm some hero for talking to Kate that day. I didn't do anything.

Coming down from that roof, that was all Kate. Her strength. Her will to keep going.

All I did was remind her that she had that courage.

But does anyone applaud her bravery? Fuck no. They just feel bad for her. Kate's stronger than anyone I know. Warren. Chloe.

Me.

I only just realize that I've been staring at the door for a solid three minutes.

Once again, my skill of getting distracted is unmatched. Fantastic work, Caulfield(!)

Screw it. I'm not going to worry. I'm going to do what I came here for.

Make up for everything I did wrong with Kate.

Be a better person than I was.

Let her know how I feel.

Oh right, because this is exactly the time to tell Kate that(!)

She's had enough drama in her life. She doesn't need me adding to it.

Finally working up the courage, I turn the knob.

The first thing I see is Kate's head resting on her pillow. Her eyes were closed, but I could tell she was awake.

This was what I wanted to see.

Kate not worrying. Not thinking about school, about the video, about what Nathan did to her. Just her, in peace, even it was only for a moment.

I stood awkwardly as Kate's eyes slowly opened to see me.

She smiled.

Not the smile that she wore over the last week. The one that just screamed someone who didn't want others to worry about her.

This was Kate's smile. The smile of the real Kate. The one who never stopped seeing the beauty in the world. The one that snorted a little when she laughed. The one who was always there for anyone, even if they weren't there for her.

The most beautiful smile I'd ever known.

"Hi, Max." This came out weakly. It was only on the rooftop that I noticed how much the hell Kate had been living through had affected her physically. She was thinner. Her eyes were bloodshot all the time. Her voice was strained whenever I talked to her.

But when she smiled, all that just faded away.

"Hey, Kate."

I made my way over to the chair next to the bed, resting myself beside Kate's legs.

"How is everyone?"

That's Kate. She's been put been through more pain than anyone should in their entire life in a week, and the first thing she asks me is how everyone else is doing.

"They're good."

I didn't want to say that. I wanted to tell Kate that she had every right to hate them.

But Kate didn't want to hear that, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Kate."

She sat more upright, knowing that I had something to say.

"I…..I just wanted to say…..I'm sorry. Sorry for not being there for you. Sorry for being too scared to stand up for you when it counted. Sorry for being a shitty excuse for a friend. I'm just…..sorry."

What happened next caught me by surprise.

A laugh. An honest to God laugh came from Kate.

It was the sweetest thing I'd heard in a long while.

"Wha-what's so funny?"

Shaking her head to control her laugh, Kate looked straight at me, with a soft look in her eyes.

"Ever since I woke up in this bed, I only thought about how I was possibly going to make this up to you. How I was ever going to get you to forgive me for all the worry I put you through. For all the times I bothered you when you had your own life going on."

I sensed her tone dropping, becoming less light. Her laugh and smile became sadder, like she was mad at herself for starting off with it.

"For putting that pressure on you that night."

"Stop."

I don't who was more surprised by my interruption. Me or Kate.

"Don't you dare for a second even think you forced me to go up onto that rooftop. I choose to go up there. It was my choice. And I would do it again. And again. And again."

I had no idea how Kate was going to react. I cursed at myself. I should've been more calm about it. Less dramatic.

Handling her cross necklace in her hand, Kate kept her gaze firmly on it.

"Max, you said you were sorry for not being there for me."

Her eyes looked up at me.

"I have never heard a bigger lie in my life."

I decided not to speak up. I knew she definitely had more to say.

"Max, you were the only reason I wasn't on that rooftop the very first day that video got put up. Everytime I felt it was too much to deal with, too much for me to handle, you were always there to lighten the load. Everything you did, rubbing out the horrible things they wrote about me, protecting me from Mr. Madsen, listening to me, those were the things that I told myself when it felt like the darkness was closing in."

I jumped slightly in surprise when I felt something touch my hand.

I looked down to see Kate holding my hand with hers.

"Max, you were my light. And I never want you to forget that."

I had no response. No possible way to reply.

So I did what felt right.

I cried.

I don't know why I did. It wasn't out of sadness, or even out of joy. It was out of pure emotion. I don't know how to describe it.

I brought my eyes to meet Kate's. Mine weren't the only ones with tears in them.

Part of me cursed myself. Making Kate cry was not what I wanted to do.

But another part of me was glad.

Those were the same tears I had.

We sat there, laughing and crying for who knows how long.

Every bit of me was screaming to be selfish. To tell her how I feel. Make sure she knows just how much happier I am when I see her. Tell her how much I look forward to something as small as taking notes from her, just because it gave me the chance to spend time with her.

But then I look at her face. And I see that smile.

No, I don't need to tell her how I feel. Right now This…this is enough.

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